Crimson Disaster
by Lisbon94
Summary: Lisbon is late to the office. When she arrives she is covered in her own blood and confused. Rated T for upcoming chapters and maybe M in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Late

_**This is my first EVER story that I have written...so please be nice. I appreciate all reviews good and bad =] I am absolutely obsessed with the mentalist and JISBON. **_

_**I'll stop rambling now and let you read :)**_

**_Sorry this Chapter is short but I wanted to end it on a sort of cliffhanger...dont worry the rest of it will be up very very soon._**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own The mentalist (no matter how much I wish I do) or any of the characters involved in this fic.**_

_**Thanks **_

It was a nice day, at bit to warm for Jane's liking but it was better than the rain that had been soaking the state for the past 2 weeks. It was a change, Jane wasn't usually one for change but this one, he could handle.

Jane stared around the room; Cho was lazing around with his feet propped up on his desk reading a book, Van Pelt was researching and catching up on paperwork whilst Rigsby was just emerging from the kitchen with his breakfast of bread and chocolate spread.

"No Case?" he said

"No case, nothing at all unless Lisbon has decided to go solo and even then I doubt she could solve the whole case confined to her office" Jane answered gesturing towards where he assumed Lisbon was taking refuge.

"Lisbon isn't in her office, I haven't seen her arrive...did you Cho...Van Pelt?"

"No I assumed she was just late, I mean the traffic is terrible on a Monday morning, Van Pelt chipped in.

"She probably walked out in front of a bus"

"Cho don't say that"

"What I was making a joke" he looked at Jane's worried expression. "I'm sure she's absolutely fine"

"Yeah, with all of the road works, the Monday morning traffic is going to be even worse."

Jane lay back on his couch. He was worried and Cho's comment hadn't helped. Normally he wasn't one to be so stressed out in a situation about this, but it just felt different. The traffic was always bad on a Monday morning, Lisbon knew that and she always got up earlier as so to miss the morning rush hour. She probably just slept in. Jane conjured up the image of Lisbon frantically rushing to get out of the house. Chuckling to himself, he tried to relax knowing that she was in the safety of her car and probably on her way. Even so, when he heard the elevator arrive on their floor he opened his eyes suddenly, hoping to god that it was Lisbon, and sure enough it was. When his eyes came into focus with her, his heart almost stopped. She was hurrying towards her office, making eye contact with nobody. He was pretty certain that she was wearing the same clothes as she had on Friday but this wasn't the big shocker to Jane. She was crying and covered in Blood. It was most likely, her own blood.

_**Thanks for taking the time to read and please review, I really appreciate all of the good and bad reviews...they will all help me to write better. **_

_**Lauren xxx**_


	2. Chapter 2 Her story

_**As I promised...chapter 2 just for you guys :) Just want to say a HUGE thanks to Jisbon-sessed (and can I just say I LOVE your avatar) Maximum Williams, , Krolinette, Maybelline36 and Hopeful for being my first EVER reviewers. It means so much to me and really makes my day :) Thankyou Guys :)**_

_**Hope you enjoy the next chapter !!**_

_**Disclaimer: I STILL do not own the mentalist and I STILL I wish I did. None of the characters are mine and if any storylines reflect anything else It is purely coincidence. **_

_Previously : __When his eyes came into focus with her, his heart almost stopped. She was hurrying towards her office, making eye contact with nobody. He was pretty certain that she was wearing the same clothes as she had on Friday but this wasn't the big shocker to Jane. She was crying and covered in Blood. It was most likely, her own blood._

Jane had no idea what to do. Of course he would need to go and confront her, to find out what had happened. Should he go into her office right away? Should he give her some space? He had to go in..... she was obviously in bad shape and she needed him, even though she would never admit it. He glanced around at the rest of the team and it was obvious to him that Lisbon's entrance had not escaped them.

As Van Pelt made a move to get up and creep into Lisbon's office Jane stopped her.

"Grace, don't, give her a few minutes, then I'll go in. Could somebody ring Minelli and get him down here now, she might need him. One more thing, could you get my car and bring it round the front, I will be taking her to the hospital, she looks like she might need it." He tossed her his keys.

Jane slowly made his way to Lisbon's office. He was worried. He wanted to find out what had happened but at the same time he didn't. He knew that she had been hurt either physically or mentally and hated to think of her in any kind of pain. She was definitely physically hurt and had the wounds to prove it. she had no option but to talk about it but to who was her decision. When he reached her office he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

He waited but she didn't answer and if he was entirely honest with himself, he wasn't expecting her to. Slowly he reached for the handle and let himself into her office. She didn't react as he entered the room. She sat at the desk however, facing the back wall so that only the back of her head could be seen. Jane could tell by the way her shoulders were moving and the way her breathing was turning into small gasps that she was crying. He didn't know what to do, she had always kept her emotions well hidden from him, never had she cried or let her guard down in any way with him before. Slowly he made his way around her desk and stopped in front of her. Still she continued to cry silently, not acknowledging that he was there. He lifted his shaking hand and placed it onto her shoulder as a sign of comfort however, she flinched violently away from him and for the first time, she looked him in the eye.

If she didn't need him so badly to be strong at this moment, he may have broken down in front of her. She looked awful; her beautiful tearstained face covered was covered in blood. A large wound to her forehead was starting to bruise around the edges. Her emerald eyes; full of confusion and pain were pleading with him to help her as his own let out a few tears. He didn't bother to wipe them away; just let them fall. She suddenly turned away from him; ashamed. He knew that she was not going t tell him anything yet, she just needed comforting, so he tried again. He reached for the small hands that were covering her face and gently tried to prise them away. She let him do so with no hesitation this time. He knelt down in front of her so that they were face to face, holding her hand gently, not saying a word , yet she still did not look up to face him. He squeezed her hand gently until she looked up to him.

"Lisbon?"

Upon hearing his voice she squeezed her eyes tightly shut and let a few single tears slide down her face. She felt his hand gently wipe them away.

"Oh Lisbon, it's gonna be alright, you can tell me what happened when you're ready, but I am here for you, it's ok..."

At this is voice broke and she opened her eyes to look at him. He was quietly crying. With tears pouring down his face he took both of Lisbon's hands and gently helped her up so they could go to the couch. At the couch he sat down next to her facing her, both of them still crying, he waited until she was ready to speak.

After a few minutes she spoke. "It's kind of hazy"

"It's okay, just tell me what you remember"

"I left the CBI at around 11:30 and got to my car. I got in and there was somebody in there. I reached for my gun but he hit me, over the head. I cant remember what happened after that but I remember waving in and out of consciousness. I was in a dark, cold room, underground I think...he...he hit me repeatedly"

She looked up and saw that Jane was shaking with rage

"How...How could anybody do that? Did you get a look at his face, did you recognise him?"

"No he was masked, I just remember waking up again in my car in the CBI car park this morning. He had me all weekend..."

"It's gonna be okay I promise, umm I don't want to ask this Lisbon and in my car in the CBI car park this morning. He had me all weekend..."

"It's gonna be okay I promise, umm I don't want to ask this Lisbon and you don't have to answer if you feel uncomfortable but ....I know he physically abused you but ...did he abuse you in any other way"

Her eyes widened in shock and fright when he said this and more tears started pouring down her face.

"I....I don't know, he was hitting me and he knocked me out...he told me that I'd never see the light of day again....I...I believed him....Jane... I believed him..."

At this she collapsed into uncontrollable sobs, her body shaking violently as she clutched his hand as if her life depended on it. He pulled her into his arms and held her while she sobbed. "It's gonna be okay Lisbon I promise, we are going to find this bastard" He told her while rubbing her back to try to sooth her pain.

He hoped that all the damage that had been done was what he had already seen. But there was something telling him that there could be more. The creep could have done anything to her while she was unconscious. Even when she was awake he could have done more, she would have blocked it out, repressed those awful memories.

When she finished sobbing, he loosened his hold on her.

"You okay?"

When she nodded silently he said "We're going to the hospital as a precaution okay? Don't worry, I won't leave your side until we find the sonofabitch that hurt you"

She nodded again and rested her head on his chest "Thank you Jane"

_**Let me know what you think....reviews are ALWAYS appreciated !!**_

_**And If you love the mentalist say JISBON!! Aha i bet I sound like a crazy freak now but ah well it's an obsession...also does anybody like BONES cause I was thinking about writing a fic on that soon...so please say so !!!**_

_**Thanks **_

_**Lauren xxx**_


	3. Chapter 3: The Tests

_**Thanks so much for the ever more AWSOME REVIEWS. I am so happy that you guys like it. That's why I decided to post another chapter as soon as humanly possible.**_

_**Disclaimer: I STILL do not own the mentalist and I STILL wish I did even though it would probably suck. Also I own none of the characters. BRUNO HELLER owns it all....talk about lucky!**_

_**Hope you enjoy the new chapter :) **_

_**Happy reading!! xD **_

_Previously: "We're going to the hospital as a precaution okay? Don't worry, I won't leave your side until we find the sonofabitch that hurt you" She nodded again and rested her head on his chest "Thank you Jane"_

__

_She gripped his jacket and kept her head buried in his shirt for another few minutes and he kept his tight grip around her. He held her until she slowly started to pull away and looked at him._

"_Can we go, umm my head hurts..."_

"_Sure" He gave her a soft smile, in which she did not return._

_He led her out of the office, the team knew not to intervene however, there eyes followed her to the elevator, it was obvious that they cared deeply about her. Jane turned around to address Van-Pelt._

"_Is my car out front, like I asked?"_

"_Yeah, Minelli is going to meet me here and I'll bring him down to the hospital, and umm Jane, please take good care of her."_

"_You know I will" _

_They silently exited the building; Jane slipped his arm around her waist for support. Within seconds of this action, as if she had been waiting for his support, she collapsed against him. She was small, but it was deadweight as he tried to hold her up. Unable to do so, he lowered her to the ground so her back was rested on the nearest car. _

"_Lisbon, Lisbon...can you hear me? Lisbon...."_

"_Jane" she said as she slowly opened her eyes to see a look of pure horror on his face._

"_I think that head wound is the culprit of this...come on let's get you to my car, and you are not walking yourself."_

_With that he scooped her up into his arms and surprisingly she made no objection. She placed her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck. He lowered her into his car when they reached it and went around to the driver's side. Once out of the CBI car park and en route to the hospital, he turned to her:_

"_If you remember anything else, you can tell me, you can trust me you know that right?"_

"_I know Jane"_

_The rest of the journey they continued in a peaceful silence. Once they reached the hospital it occurred to Jane again that the visible wounds on Lisbon may not be the only wounds. Still he kept up a reassuring smile as he led her towards Accident and Emergency. Once registered, he sat on a chair next to the bed which Lisbon sat on, looking as vulnerable as she ever had. _

_After a long wait, cheerful nurse came in. _

"_Now Honey, I understand that you are slightly concussed as of the head wound. Now because of your memory loss we are going to have to run several tests."_

_Jane butted in at this point, "What sort of tests?"_

"_The usual, a blood test, a Head CT scan, an MRI, x-ray. There is one more, I understand this can be upsetting but it is just a precaution, I or another female doctor will be testing for any signs of sexual abuse"_

_Lisbon gripped Jane's hand like a vice and turned to look at him with wide eyes and terror. He squeezed her hand reassuringly. The nurse left the room telling them she would be back soon to run all of the necessary tests._

_After a long few hours of running tests the nurse came back into Lisbon's room and found the pair talking quietly, both startled when she spoke, obviously in their own little world._

"_Mr Jane, could you please leave the room whilst I run the last test."_

"_I'll be right outside Lisbon, I promise"_

_As he left the room he could not hold it in any longer. For these next few minutes he did not have to be strong. He sat down and let the tears poured down his face as he thought about the horrors Lisbon had faced over the weekend whilst he had been lying down on his couch. Sexually Abused...Lisbon? That, he couldn't even think about. If it was true, he would be there, every step of the way. Still the tears flowed down his face and he didn't bother to stop them. When the nurse called him back into the room, he did not try to hide his tears. They would only prove to Lisbon how much he cared for her and how much he felt her pain._

"_The nurse said she would be back soon with your results."_

"_Jane, are umm you okay?"_

"_I should be asking you that" He smiled at her. She was strong, and whatever the test results came back as, she could handle it. _

""_But I'm not the one crying, you are...you said to me that I can trust you and tell you anything, so I'm going to say the same to you. Now I can see that you are upset, so just tell me what It is that is upsetting you, I think that I deserve it"_

"_I just....I hate to think of the damage that bastard has done to you. You don't deserve it...You're a good person, I...I just...I'm gonna be there for you Lisbon no matter what these tests say...I need to...to be with you...I have to."_

"_I know Jane... I know...I'll be fine you know, it's just hazy at the moment but we'll have all of the answers when the tests come back."_

_They sat in relative silence as Van Pelt came into the room with Minelli at her heels. Minelli rushed over to Lisbon's bed side and pulled her into a hug. She clung onto him and her defences broke down once again. She sobbed silently into his suit jacket as Jane and Van Pelt left the room._

"_So do you know anything more" she asked_

"_No, she had some umm tests and we are awaiting results."_

_Jane went and stood outside the room listening intently to what Lisbon was saying._

"_I'm scared....I'm scared of what I'm gonna find out...I don't want to know what he did to me...but I have to"_

"_Teresa, my dear, you will be fine, you have us, you have Jane, we are all here for you, Listen I have to go but if you need anything, call me and I will be right here."_

_With that Minelli exited the room._

"_You heard what I said in there Jane, she's scared and she needs you, don't you dare leave her or run away, you stay for her, do you hear me. Van-Pelt take me back to work now please. Remember what I said Jane."_

_Jane nodded and silently walked back into the room to find Lisbon face down in her pillow, her body shaking slightly. She was crying, maybe she wanted to be alone, but Jane had made a promise, to be there for her and he was not going to break it._

_He gently lay down on the bed next to her, not in an intimate way, but friendly. He turned around to face him, still crying, and he wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried into his chest. After a while she spoke._

"_I'm scared Jane"_

"_I know" _

_For now neither of them spoke about what was ahead, the test results or what had happened, in fact, neither of them spoke at all. They just lay there, Jane keeping a tight hold on Lisbon, comfort for both of them._

_**Thankyouu for reading and reviewing...reviews are always appreciated. Next up I will reveal the test results.**_

_**Thanks AGAIN soooo much for the AWSOME reviews :)**_

_**Hope you enjoyed**_

_**Oh and I almost forgot.....JISBON!**_

_**Lauren xxx**_


	4. Chapter 4: The results

_**Disclaimer: STILL don't own the mentalist and yes I STILL wish I did!!! But all rights go to Bruno Heller!! I own nothing and make no money from this....wish I did ...aha :)**_

_**Anyway, thank you thank you thank you for everyone that has reviewed. I really do appreciate and that's why I am Updating as fast as I can.... 4 chapters in under 2 days...RESULT...and I'm not even bored...**_

_**Hope you have fun reading this...even though it is kind of serious....and if this offends anybody it is not intentional...ENJOY :D xx **_

_Previously: For now neither of them spoke about what was ahead, the test results or what had happened, in fact, neither of them spoke at all. They just lay there, Jane keeping a tight hold on Lisbon, comfort for both of them._

__

_They lay for what felt like hours finally breaking apart when the nurse entered the room with what Jane presumed was Lisbon's file. He went around and sat on the chair next to Lisbon's bed, keeping one arm around her waist and the other resting beside her, holding her hand as she sat up on the bed._

"_I have the results of your tests...everything seems fine, your CT scan, MRI, Blood tests and x-rays were all fine, nothing but a mild concussion, memory loss is probably a result of repression which can be retrieved by hypnosis or just by taking some time to remember and you have a mild sprain in your ankle, nothing too serious. One more thing...Mr Jane could you please leave the room while I talk to Miss Lisbon."_

"_Umm no it's okay, I don't mind him staying..."_

"_I'm staying"_

"_Mr Jane it's hospital procedures, now you need to leave the room. Miss Lisbon can inform you when you are invited back in, if she wants to that is"_

_Jane gave Lisbon a helpless look. "I'm sorry Lisbon, you need me just shout and I'll be right in, I'm only just outside okay?"_

"_Okay" she said quietly, she knew what was coming...they both did..._

_He did not listen outside the door this time; he didn't want to invade her privacy. If she wanted him to know, she would tell him when he went back in. _

_After a short amount of time, a female doctor, mid thirties with dark hair, went to enter the room._

"_Oh excuse me doctor, can I ask you what you specialise in?" _

"_I am a psychiatrist Mr..."_

"_Jane...wait you're a psychiatrist? May I ask why you are going to visit my umm...my friend"_

"_I received a page to say that I was needed in this room...I'm afraid I have to go...I'm sure you're friend will inform you of her situation when you are allowed to see her...now excuse me..."_

"_Situation" He said this only for himself to hear, he didn't need psychic powers to know exactly what her situation was however, he was for once, hoping he was wrong. But, this was Lisbon, she could handle it, she had him, she had Minelli and the team...she would be okay._

_The nurse left the room after about half an hour and the psychiatrist exited soon after that. She stopped next to Jane._

"_You need to be strong for her, she needs you right now, I'm guessing more than ever."_

_Her words confirmed all of Jane's worries, everything he had hoped would not be true...was true, and there was nothing he could do about it. He could not go back in time and change what happened no matter how much he wished he could. All he could do now was walk into her room and hold her tight in his arms. He wouldn't speak; he wouldn't know what to say. He would have to at some point but for now, holding her should be enough._

_He pushed her door open and looked warily around the room for her...she wasn't there. He made his way over to the bathroom...knocking lightly on the door._

"_Lisbon...are you in there?"_

"_Oh umm...I'll umm...I'll be out in a minute...just...just wait...don't leave"_

"_I won't...I'll...I'll just wait here"_

_He sat on the side of her bed waiting for her to emerge. He thought of what he should do. Should he try to talk about it...what would she do when she came out of the bathroom, how should he handle it, how would she handle it?_

_Finally he heard the click of the bathroom door and Lisbon emerged from behind in her pyjamas. She looked so vulnerable and it was obvious she had been crying...a lot. He stood up and made his way over to her. He decided that it was best not to talk about it just yet._

"_Oh Lisbon..." He wrapped her in a warm embrace and was glad that she didn't pull away. He held onto her as tight as he could...afraid that if he let go or loosened his grip she would breakdown. He could feel her shaking in his arms, the shoulder of his shirt was becoming slightly damp. She sobbed uncontrollably as she held onto him. He didn't know what to do to comfort her except to hold her. He cautiously placed his hand on her head and stroked her dark hair. She sobbed even harder then and he gently manoeuvred them towards her bed and sat her down on it. He sat down next to her and she rested her head on his chest still crying. He stroked her hair continuously and let a few of his own tears seep through and land on her hair._

_When Lisbon was out of tears she slowly prised herself out of his arms but remained sat on the bed. She sat staring into her lap twisting her hands together as is if she was washing them...but not. _

"_Lisbon...do umm...do you want to...you know talk about what happened?"_

_I suppose I will have to..."_

"_No...Lisbon you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do, you can talk to me, I'll listen, but only if you want to talk"_

"_I want to...but I...to be honest with you I'm scared"_

"_Scared of what? Talking to me? Lisbon...this man sexually abused you...I think that it would be best to talk about it. Are you afraid of letting me in? "As he said this, he cringed and immediately regretted it knowing how sensitive the topic was._

"_No...No it's not that...I'm just...it's just I'm scared that you will leave...or runaway. That I will say too much and scare you off because of what happened to me"_

"_Lisbon...you should know that I don't scare easy and you should also know that I will do everything I can to help you. I'm not going to run, I will never leave you...you have to understand that. You can tell me everything and anything and I will stay with you, you need me now more than ever and I know that." He smiled at her reassuringly and this time she returned it. _

_She looked up to look into his eyes and immediately they both knew that there was a very strong bond of friendship and trust between them._

"_How are you doing Miss Lisbon?" Both looked started when the nurse came in._

"_Umm I'm okay I guess...considering..."_

"_Well I have one more test I would like to run just in case and now that we are fully aware of your situation"_

_Jane butted in: "And what test would that be? He feared the answer._

"_A pregnancy test Mr Jane" He knew it...goddamn his "almost psychic" brain._

_**Hope you enjoyed this chapter :) **_

_**I really do appreciate reviews so if you have the time please do press the little green button :)**_

_**Lauren xxx**_


	5. Chapter 5: The Team

_**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the mentalist...no matter how much I WISH I did!!! Bruno Heller Owns everything...EVERYTHING...characters included!! Storyline for this fic however are mine...haha :D**_

_**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed...Jisbon-sessed...Lisbon69...MJ2387 and more...sorry I can't list you all but thankyou again EVERYONE even if you don't review...just thanks for reading :D **_

_**Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter :) **_

_**Happy Reading xD**_

_Previously: "Well I have one more test I would like to run just in case and now that we are fully aware of your situation"_

_Jane butted in: "And what test would that be? He feared the answer._

"_A pregnancy test Mr Jane" He knew it...goddamn his "almost psychic" brain._

"_I will be back soon to run your test, so just try to relax, if you can" She said as she left the room._

_Lisbon turned to Jane. "A pregnancy test...you don't think...what do I do I mean if it's positive...it'll be his child Jane, HIS child...I...I"_

"_Lisbon listen to me, it's going to be fine...it's just a test...just a precaution...it'll probably be negative and if it's positive...it may be his child Lisbon...but it's also yours and I just know...that if you were..you know...pregnant...I know that it will be a beautiful baby...especially if it has your eyes..."_

"_Thank you Jane..." _

_After a few minutes in peaceful silence...they heard a large noise coming from outside the room and then Van-Pelt's voice._

"_For god's sake Rigsby, do you have to be so clumsy? I mean it was the stairs this morning and now this...come on. You know what you are too focused on your food....will you just put cookies down? Seriously it's a good job we're in a hospital"_

"_Man...You got burned" He heard Cho say._

_After a few minutes it was obvious to Jane and Lisbon that the team were bracing themselves to enter the room. Jane decided to speak._

"_Guys, seriously you can come in...I won't let Lisbon shoot you" He shot her a cheeky grin. "I stole her gun"_

"_Jane, you having a gun is even worse than Lisbon with a gun...she can at least control when she uses one" Cho said as he lead the way into the room. "How are you doing boss?"_

"_I'm fine guys...just a few cuts and bruises is all" At this the team looked relieved. Jane however looked troubled. He leant towards her and whispered into her ear._

"_You need to tell them, they need to know, I mean, if you're ...pregnant, they will find out, it' better for them to find out now."_

"_I can't do it...I can't tell them that, I'm their boss I'm the one that's supposed to be strong, they can't see me vulnerable and that's exactly how I will look when I tell them."_

"_I'll do it...I'll do it now." He moved away and turned to face the team. "Could you come outside please...there is something that you have to know"_

_They followed Jane outside and he led them to the waiting area. Jane could see a broken coffee table scattered with crumbs, obviously where Rigsby had his accident on his way in. They sat down and looked at Jane with curiosity and confusion._

"_Lisbon said she was fine...but she isn't." At their alarmed expressions he said "No...she isn't dying or anything like that it's just...she told you she just had a few cuts and bruises...she has...but there's more. I know she is strong but we all need to be here for her...she needs all of us at the moment."_

"_Come on man...just tell us what's up...is Lisbon going to be okay?"_

"_She was abused... sexually abused...that bastard...her did that to her...she didn't deserve it... and he did it...he...he raped Lisbon." He felt like he was violating her by just saying this and he couldn't hold it together for much longer; with his head in his hands he let the tears flow, not caring that the team could see him in his state._

"_Jane...you need to be strong for her, we all do, she...she needs us right now...come on we're gonna go back in"_

"_What do we say to her, what do we do...?" Rigsby looked nervous and confused._

"_Don't say anything...just show her that you care."_

_They slowly got up and made their way inside. Jane entered first t a very nervous looking Lisbon and went to sit in the chair next to her. He gripped her hand tightly, reassuring her._

_Grace entered next with Cho and Rigsby at her heels. She slowly approached Lisbon, looking terrified and sympathetic. _

"_Listen Guys..." Lisbon was cut off when Van Pelt suddenly sat on the bed and pulled her into a friendly hug. Jane could see that Van Pelt was crying. "We're here for you Teresa, I...umm I just want you to know that"_

"_I know...thanks"_

_Rigsby slowly prised Van Pelt away from Lisbon and replaced her by sitting on the bed in the space next to her. _

"_I don't really know what to say, so...what Grace said...and umm we err...we love you...want a cookie?" He said offering the bag he was still clutching. When she declined he patted her hand gently and moved away so Cho could take his place._

_Cho didn't say a word, he silently sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. Jane knew they had been friends for at least 10 years, this was obvious by the way there were both acting. Cho kept his arms wrapped around her and he had tears rolling down his face. Cho...Kimball Cho...showing his emotions...it was different...but it occurred to Jane then how much he loved her and cared for her...almost like a brother. After a while he pulled away from her but stayed on the bed beside her, holding her other hand whilst the 5 team members engaged in a conversation about the previous case._

_After a short while, the team left to get to work on Lisbon's case. _

"_Are you glad we told them?"_

"_You know what...I am ...it takes a load off"_

_The nurse re entered the room as promised with a small kit, obviously used for a pregnancy test._

"_Now Teresa, It is very unlikely that, we will have a positive match in these early stages but it's possible so we are going to test just in case. If it is a negative which is highly likely, we will have you back here in 2 weeks for your annual check up to see how you are doing and we will do a repeat then...that sound okay?"  
"Umm Yeah..that's umm that's fine"_

"_Teresa, if you would like to go into the bathroom" The nurse said as she handed her the home pregnancy test._

"_Umm sure...thanks"_

_After a few minutes and an awkward silence Lisbon emerged from the bathroom looking relieved and relaxed. "It's a negative" She went to sit back on the bed, Jane gave her a quick hug in response and the nurse left the room._

"_You relieved?"_

"_Yeah...Yeah I am"_

_**Thank you AGAIN for the amazing reviews, I really really appreciate it :) **_

_**If you have the time please press the little green button :) **_

_**Lauren xxx**_


	6. Chapter 6:The Note

_**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the Mentalist or any of the characters involved in the fic. Bruno Heller owns it all.**_

_**Thanks for the reviews I have been getting, they mean a lot and that's why I decided to UD today :)**_

_**Happy Reading :D x**_

_Previously: __After a few minutes and an awkward silence Lisbon emerged from the bathroom looking relieved and relaxed. "It's a negative" She went to sit back on the bed, Jane gave her a quick hug in response and the nurse left the room._

"_You relieved?"_

"_Yeah...Yeah I am"_

__

_He spent the rest of the day and night at the hospital with Lisbon. Of course she insisted he go home, but he wasn't going to leave her. It was an uncomfortable night, hospital chairs were unnaturally hard so he ended up laying on the floor. Not that he slept for long, most of the night was spent watching Lisbon. She was quite still and quiet, he assumed that she'd have nightmares. He eventually gave up and tried to fall asleep to the sound of her breathing._

_Just as he was drifting off, her breathing became faster and she started to jerk about unexpectedly in her sleep. He had ruled out nightmares too soon._

"_Lisbon…Lisbon wake up…Lisbon" Her eyes snapped open and started at him with no recognition and alarm._

"_Who…What…get away from me…please…don't…"_

"_Lisbon it's me, It's me…Jane…calm down…you are safe…just calm down"_

_He held her down__by her shoulders until she stopped struggling against his grip._

"_Relax, it's okay" She turned away from him, looking ashamed._

_He gently grabbed her hand and held tight until she turned her head to face him. _

"_I'm sorry"_

"_Sorry…what for…you had a nightmare…it's not your fault…you know what I'd be more worried if you weren't having nightmares."_

_After a while he added "They will go you know"_

"_Go…what will?"_

"_The nightmares…they do eventually go. I'm going to be honest with you Lisbon, a traumatic experience…you never really forget it…but it gets easier and the nightmares go…after a while. When you…when something happens that you want to forget...you never ever forget it but it does get easier."_

_She took some time to process what he said before turning to look at him properly._

"_Did you have nightmares?"_

"_Did I?"_

"_Yeah…when…you know…your wife and your…your daughter were killed?"_

_He didn't answer, he gave her a blank look before averting his eyes to his lap._

"_I'm sorry…I shouldn't have asked…it's…"_

"_Yeah…Yeah I did…but they went away…I mean…I still get the occasional one, mostly after we have a run in with…you know…Red John. And I still miss them, that never get's any easier, I miss them as much today as I did 5 years ago."_

_He still had more to say, she could tell that, so she didn't say anything more._

"_What happened that day…it messed me up. Maybe it was because I saw all of it…the blood, everything. It was hard…it was…but my point here is look at where I am now compared to where I was 5 years ago. I haven't forgotten but I'm okay and everything isn't as bad as it had seemed back then."_

"_I get it, it's hard but I'll survive. Thanks Jane."_

"_Get some sleep…you need it. I'll be here"_

_Once she had drifted back into a light sleep and after a while he to fell asleep in the uncomfortable chair next to Lisbon's bedside. _

* * *

"_Jane…Jane…."_

"_Huh…Oh hey Lisbon…awake already??"_

"_It's 9:30…you were tired I didn't want to wake you earlier. You should go home, get a shower and change…they're discharging me and I'll be back at work tomorrow so I guess I'll see you then. Thanks again Jane for everything."_

"_I'll go home, shower, change and I'll pick up some clothes from your place…I know where you hide the spare key…but you are not leaving this hospital alone and you are not going home alone. I'll be back to pick you up 12, we are going to lunch…if you want to, and then I am taking you home."_

"_Jane…you don't have to I'm fine seriously"_

"_No Lisbon…you know what the doctors have said, you shouldn't be alone…so no arguments…I'll be back at noon. I'll see you then…take care now…"_

"_Umm…I will…bye"_

_He hurried home to have the quickest shower in history and headed over to Lisbon's place. It was only 10:30 but he was aiming to be back at hospital by 11 in case she was discharged early. He walked up the small pathway until he got to the door. Reaching up into the hanging lampshade he found the spare key. He entered warily, he had only been in Lisbon's house twice before and when he did, he was never alone…it felt like trespassing. _

_Heading for the stairs he passed the dining room table. It had mail on it. Lisbon would have collected her mail Friday morning before heading to work. If she hadn't been home since then…why was there unopened mail on the table. He disregarded it, assuming Lisbon was in a rush and simply hadn't opened her mail. He trailed up the stairs…having never been upstairs before he had to guess which room was her bedroom. It was most likely to be the room at the front of the House…more sunlight. He entered the bedroom and headed to the wardrobe to gather some clothes. Picking up some blue Jeans, a white shirt and her brown leather Jacket he then headed to her bathroom to pick out a toothbrush, tooth paste, hairbrush and deodorant. She wouldn't need shoes as she already had some but he assumed she would want a change in underwear, after all she hadn't been home since Friday morning. He knew she wouldn't appreciate him rifling through her underwear draw but what could he do. He opened her draw wondering what to pick but before he could, his eyes caught sight of small piece of paper resting on the top. _

_His instincts told him to read it even thought it could be private. It read:_

_Dear Teresa_

_This weekend was enjoyable…wasn't it? You were out cold for some time but I sure had fun. I hope to see you again soon…very soon. Don't try to find me…your team is good…but not good enough…you won't get to me before I get to you…trust me so don't even bother._

_For now Teresa _

_Take Care_

_Jane felt rage bubbling up inside of him as he crumpled the note up in his hands. He shoved it in his pocket. That creep had been in her house, her bedroom, in her underwear draw. He quickly grabbed the rest of Lisbon's stuff and headed out of the house. On the drive back to the hospital he focused on what to say to Lisbon._

_Should he tell her, should he keep it a secret…she didn't need any more drama. He would have to tell the team though. They were going to find this guy no matter what he had said._

_Back at the hospital he made his way along the huge mass of corridors and hallways until he reached Lisbon's room. _

"_Guess Who" He said as he entered._

_She looked fresher, she had obviously showered in his absence and was now wearing a hospital robe while she waited for her clothes._

"_Hey. You got some clothes for me? I hate these hospital robes."_

"_Oh yeah sorry, they're all in this bag. You got underwear, socks and everything..except shoes…I didn't think you would need any…"_

"_You went in my underwear draw"_

"_Yeah uhh…sorry about that…invasion of privacy but I thought you would need some…Friday being the last time you were at home."_

"_You know what it doesn't matter…I'm umm gonna go change…I'll be right out."_

_She looked slightly uncomfortable when she left him, Jane however was feeling amused, he had made her blush and that was always fun. Remembering the note, he pulled it out of his pocket to have another look. Lisbon however was quick and can out of the bathroom as he was quickly stuffing the note back into his pocket. Not quick enough apparently._

"_What was that?"_

"_Ohh uhh nothing…just my shopping list."_

"_Okay, hey listen Jane, can you take me back to work, please don't argue, I just want to be somewhere where I can feel safe right now…please…and I promise you can take me home later and stay as long as you want…if it'll make you feel better"_

"_Sure, we'll pick up a pizza and eat at the office."_

_If he thought about it, being at the office was best for Lisbon. It's full of cop's and it saddened him to think that even her home wasn't safe right now._

_**Hoped you like this chapter :)**_

_**Please review if you have the time :) all are appreciated good and bad…! **_

_**Lauren xxx**_


	7. Chapter 7:Back

_**Sorry for the delayed UD...back at school and ill...not good!!! :/**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the mentalist or any of the main characters involved. Bruno Heller owns it all.**_

_**Thanks for the lovely reviews :)**_

_**Happy Reading...hope you like the chapter :)**_

_

* * *

_

_Previously: __If he thought about it, being at the office was best for Lisbon. It's full of cop's and it saddened him to think that even her home wasn't safe right now._

__

_They arrived at the office around 12:30 to find the rest of the team in the bullpen. They walked into the area together, waiting to be bombarded. _

"_Boss, you're back, are you supposed to work, did the hospital discharge you?"_

"_Relax VanPelt, I'm fine, Yes I was discharged, I didn't escape which is something that Jane would do so I find that kind of insulting and I want to be here." She said all of this with a beaming smile on her face. Jane felt warmth as he looked at her. Her smile wasn't strained; it was completely genuine, as if she felt safe and happy._

"_How about we go into your office and eat…you must be starving, I know I am."_

"_Sure"_

_They headed into her office, both settled on the couch with the pizza box on the coffee table in front of them. _

"_So…how you feeling, no headaches, nausea, that kind of thing?"_

"_Relax Jane, god you're as bad a Van-pelt. I'm absolutely fine."_

"_Good…so what time are you planning on staying here till? You're not spending the night here."_

"_I got some paperwork I might as well finish, that'll take me an hour or so and then I guess we could get to work on finding the guy who gave me this." She gestured at the stitched up wound on her forehead._

"_Maybe we should start the investigation tomorrow, in the morning, after a proper nights sleep."_

"_Sure, I'll shout when I'm ready to go, okay?"_

"_Sure..."_

_It wasn't like she needed to fetch him when it was time to leave, he was in her office every 5 minutes, with the same reason for being there._

_As he entered the office for what felt like the hundredth time, she stopped him before he had a chance to speak._

"_Yes Jane I am now ready to go home, just give me two minutes to get my stuff together, just sit on the couch or something."_

_She gathered her things together, slowly, whether it was on purpose or not, Jane did not know. Her facial expression seemed somewhat anxious however. As she approached the door he got up to follow her. Getting up of the couch, too intent on figuring out Lisbon's facial expression to notice that the note from her dresser laid on the couch, obviously fallen out of his pocket_

_He drove her back in his "contraption" as Lisbon would say, his eyes only half focusing on the road as he continued to decipher what was bothering Lisbon._

"_Lisbon...are you okay?" _

"_Oh...what....Oh sure yeah I'm fine." _

_When they reached the driveway he got out of the car and followed Lisbon into the house. As they entered into the open plan living room she stopped for a moment to look around before sitting down on the couch with a sigh. He slowly went over and sat on the other end of the sofa._

"_So, what do you wanna do, watch TV? I'm gonna go order in some food for us, Is thai okay?"_

"_Yeah, Thai's good ...thanks."_

_Half an hour, when the food had arrived, Lisbon got up to get the door. _

"_No it's okay I'll go"_

"_Jane it's fine, let me get it."_

"_No Lisbon, you don't wanna ..." He was too late, she had already opened the door._

"_Umm...Jane, why is there a CBI car parked out front?"She turned to face him with an angry expression on her face._

"_Oh that, that's...thats, your car!"_

"_Oh come on Jane I'm not stupid" she turned to get a closer look. "Wait is that Rigsby?" She stormed out towards the car._

"_RIGSBY...what are you doing here?"_

"_Oh I...umm... Jane said to....I'm just gonna go"_

"_Yes" She turned to face Jane. "You got Rigsby to watch my house? Why? I can look after myself, I'm not some sort of damsel in distress here."_

"_Lisbon, A man kidnapped you? He beat you, bet you until you were unconscious and he...he hurt you okay? Do you really expect me to NOT have somebody watching you. This guy knows where you live!"_

_He noticed his mistake as soon as the words had come out of his mouth and he saw the shocked expression on her face._

"_I mean, he could know where you live, Lisbon the point is, there is no way I would let you stay here on your own, I mean I know I'm here but you know..."_

"_Not any more...get out. Do what you want, have Rigsby outside my house, anything just get out,"_

"_What...Lisbon, you can't expect me to leave you here alone."_

"_I won't be alone, send Rigsby. I'm just...you need to leave, I'm confused and...I don't know, can you just leave? Now...please"_

"_Okay...fine, but if you need me, just...just ring." Slowly he made his way to the door, turning around just as he left the house. "God Lisbon, if anything happens to you...I don't know...just ring me...if you need anything"_

_As soon as the door slammed, Lisbon turned and headed straight upstairs, restraining herself from thinking about what had just happened. As she settled herself into bed, she smiled to herself when she heard another car pull up outside her house presumably Rigsby._

_However, when she heard the car door slam and footsteps approach the house she began to panic. She picked up the phone and dialled the first person she could think of. Jane._

_He answered pretty much straight away. "Lisbon are you okay?"_

"_Jane are you at my house."_

"_No I'm at home...what..."_

"_Did you send Rigsby, or cho?"_

"_No I didn't, why, Lisbon are you okay?"_

"_No...I think, I think there is someone here, you need to get over here now."_

"_I'll be 5 minutes tops, stay in your room and keep hold of your gun...I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up._

_Lisbon began to search for her gun, then she remembered. Jane, he didn't give it back to her._

"_God damn it Jane." She continued to search for something to use for self defence when he slowly entered her bedroom._

"_Teresa, It's good to see you again. Tell me, how's life?"_

"_You filthy son of a bitch, get away from me. Don't you dare touch me."_

_As he advanced on her she aimed a punch straight for his face. Before her fist could come into contact with his face, he grabbed her arm and twisted it. Pushing her to the ground he knelt down beside her and pinned her to the floor so she was unable to move._

"_This brings back memories Teresa, good memories, don't you think. Memories that don't have to be memories, they could be relived." _

"_Don't you dare, you even think about trying anything and you...you will regret it"_

"_Empty threats Teresa, Empty threats, you know they won't get you anywhere with..."_

"_Lisbon..."_

"_Crap...Crap" He heard Jane running up the stairs and he himself ran for the open window, slipping out of it as fast as he could._

_She heard Jane shout her name again and began to heave herself off the floor with one arm. Jane burst into the room and ran over help Lisbon off the floor. He could see the distress, easily noticeable on her face. After he lifted her off the ground he kept a hold on her and pulled her into a gentle hug. She rested her head on his shoulder and let a few tears slip onto his shirt._

"_Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"_

_She shook her head, but did not pull away from his grip. He held onto her until he had calmed her down completely. He slowly led her down stairs and sat her on the couch._

"_You're not staying here tonight. Were gonna get you a drink and then you can pack a few things. Your staying at mine." _

_Without an argument she nodded. "Okay._

_**Hope you liked this chapter **_____

_**Lauren xxx**_


	8. Chapter 8: His Life

_**Thanks to Jisbon-sessed, Jazz248 and JackSam for reviewing the last chapter...hope you like the next chapter :)**_

_**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the Mentalist or any of the main characters!**_

_**JISBON !!!**_

_**Happy Reading!!! xx**_

_Previously: "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"_

_She shook her head, but did not pull away from his grip. He held onto her until he had calmed her down completely. He slowly led her down stairs and sat her on the couch._

"_You're not staying here tonight. Were gonna get you a drink and then you can pack a few things. You're staying at mine." _

_Without an argument she nodded. "Okay."_

__

_He sat with her on the sofa for a while, not knowing what to say to her. She had 2 traumatic experiences in less than a week. What do you say to somebody when this happens? It's not something that Jane ever expected to think about. He especially didn't expect Lisbon to be in the situation. He looked at her, usually so strong, she always knew what to say, yet now, she seemed lost for words, just as he was. He looked at her for what seemed like hours, when he knew it was only a few minutes. She simply sat there, staring at her lap. Jane knew he had to say something or they would be sat on the couch all night._

"_Are you Okay?" she nodded._

"_Come on Lisbon, you can talk to me, you know that..."_

_Slowly she looked up at him. "I know."_

"_Then talk to me Lisbon, are you sure he didn't do anything to you."_

"_Jane...I'm sure."_

"_Okay, well do you want to get going, we probably should stay here too long."_

"_Umm okay sure, I'll just get a few things together."_

"_Already done, and in the car, so, let's go shall we?"_

"_Okay" _

_He led her out of the house and into the car, locking the door behind him and taking the spare key with him. The car ride was silent and as it was almost midnight, there wasn't much traffic. The lack of traffic proved for a very short car ride and within 10 minutes they were pulling up into a driveway in front of a very large house. It was only when she was getting out of the car that she realised that, not only had she never been here before, but she was about to enter the place in which Patrick Jane's wife and child were brutally murdered. She looked at him as he opened the door and took her hand, gently leading her in. He walked her through to the living room, which consisted of a large TV and sofa which he led her to. She stared around at the pale walls, looking at the pictures on the mantelpiece. Pictures of him, with his wife and his child, he looked so happy, she had never seen him look this happy before. She quickly diverted her gaze when her re-entered the room with a glass of water._

"_I didn't want to give you coffee, you need to sleep soon and coffee...well it's not that answer. Do you want to sit for a while, or sleep?"_

"_Sleep I think, I'm kinda tired..."_

"_Okay, well come on then...i'll get your bag."_

"_Where are we going?"_

"_Upstairs, spare room, you know with a proper bed."_

"_Oh No Jane, really I'm fine, the couch it good for me."_

"_No Lisbon, you need a good night's sleep, and trust me you will not get that on the couch."_

"_Umm Okay...thanks."_

_He led her up the stairs, down a very long corridor and into a very large room. Placing her things down on the floor by the bed he turned to her._

"_Bathroom's directly opposite. Just shout if you need anything. Are you sure you're going to be fine?"_

"_Yeahh Jane I'm good...thanks"_

"_Okay...night Lisbon."_

"_Night Jane"_

_He exited her room and she heard him slip into the room next door. After she had used the bathroom and changed she settled into bed. As she lay there, she could not seem to sleep, the memories of earlier that night still haunting her, as if she would have expected anything less. As at least an hour passed, all Lisbon could do was toss and turn. After a while she decided she would go see Jane. Would he be sleeping? He slept at work enough._

_She slowly stepped out of her room into the dimly lit hallway and turned to the room she assumed Jane was in. Turning the handle she slowly stepped into the room. At this point, her hear almost stopped. There in front of her eyes was the symbol, the mark of Red John looking down on Jane who lay on the small mattress that lay beneath it. He was awake, she could tell and he obviously hadn't noticed her entrance. He lay face down with his head buried into the pillow. He was shaking, with the cold was her first thought but when she heard the way he was breathing, she knew he was crying. Now she was the one who was lost for words. She didn't know whether to leave the room and not mention it or to make her presence known. She decided on the second option. He had been there for her through everything and she should do the same. She slowly stepped towards the mattress and knelt down beside him. She could hear him more clearly now, his muffled sobs deepening. She gently placed a comforting hand on his shoulder feeling him stiffen at her touch, his sobs stopping for a moment. He did not turn to look at her but when she placed her other hand on his other shoulder he started to sob again, not caring that she could see him this way. _

"_Jane...what is this, why are you staying in this room. It's not good...and it's obviously...obviously upsetting for you."_

_He still did not say anything but slowly sat up and turned to face her. His tearstained face and bloodshot eyes said it all. She didn't say anything but pulled him into a hug holding him as he sobbed into her shoulder, soaking her pyjama shirt, but she didn't care. She rubbed his back soothingly his crying subsided. Slowly he pulled back and she moved to sit beside him on the mattress, taking his hand in hers._

"_Why Jane, why do you stay in this room, in this house, it's...it's no good for you?"_

"_I can't do it Lisbon...I can't leave. It's the only place I can still feel close to them. This place is the only place I have memories of my family."_

"_Jane, I understand that, but memories, they, they were killed in this house, in this room. I can understand staying in this house, but this room, you can't sleep in here, not tonight anyway, not now."_

"_This was her room....my daughter...it was her room."_

"_I'm sorry...but I can't let you stay in here. Not when I can see what It does to you."_

"_You're probably right; I'll just head down to the couch."_

"_The couch, it'll do your back in, you can stay in the spare room with me...I mean the bed's huge and it's not like...you know."_

"_Oh No Lisbon...I couldn't...you need to sleep."_

"_I can't sleep anyway and I'll probably sleep better with someone there anyway. Come on."_

_She kept hold of his hand and they left the room together. Leading him into the room they both settled into the bed. Lisbon slowly nuzzled her face into his neck as he wrapped his arms around her. Both slowly drifted off in a deep sleep whilst wrapped in each other's arms. Lisbon knew she could trust him with her life and he could do the same with her._

_**Thanks for reading and please review if you have time :)**_

_**Lauren xx**_


	9. Chapter 9: Forgetting

**Really sorry for the REALLY REALLY late UD. Microsoft word on my laptop stopped working so I haven't been able to type up the next chapters...if anybody knows anything that can be used as a substitute for it please say. I stole my dad's laptop for this so I don't know when I can get another chapter up. I'll try and make it as soon as possible!!**

**Thank you to Jisbon-Sessed, JackSam, Lisbon69, nitakb, A., wounded-heart and macisgate gor reviewing the last chaper...I hope after the HUGE gap that you will still take time to read and review.**

**Hope you like the next chapter... :) **

**Previously: She kept hold of his hand and they left the room together. Leading him into the room they both settled into the bed Lisbon slowly nuzzled her face into his neck as he wrapped his arms around her. Both slowly drifted off into a deep sleep whilst wrapped in each other's arms. Lisbon knew she could trust him with her life and he could do the same with her.**

****

She could feel the sunlight coming through the windows, warming her and the man lying beside her. The beside clock read 6:37 so she began to nestle down once again to fall back into her deep slumber when suddenly reality hit her. She wasn't alone. There was somebody lying down next to her, somebody had their arms wrapped firmly around her waist. She tensed and turned her head to look for anything that could be used as a weapon. There was nothing, nothing useful. She tried to force her way out of the vice-like grip and to her surprise the arms around her loosened and she quickly jumped from the bed and ran out of the room. She ran into the nearest room, the one next door and locked the door behind her. Looking around the room, she saw nothing that could be potentially dangerous, nothing to suggest that she was in any mortal danger. Her breathing started to slow down but as she continued to stare around the room her eyes caught sight of it. It had to be a joke, some weird twisted joke. The symbol of Red John was there in front of her, like a monument on the wall. Never had she felt this helpless, this alone in the world. As she slid down the wall to sit on the floor, she could hear a loud banging; she ignored it as it was probably in her head.

The banging persisted, and there was something else, somebody else. Somebody was stood on the other side of the door, calling her name.

"Lisbon, Lisbon...Teresa let me in...please, what's going on...let me in Teresa."

"Jane...is that you?"

"Yes...it's me Lisbon, who else would it be?"

"I...I..." she opened the door. "I thought you were him."

"Him...you thought I was...No Lisbon listen to me, I would never do anything to hurt you...you have to know that."

"No...I forgot...everything...I..." Her memories came rushing back to her in the one moment. "I...He bought me back...the CBI...you took me...took me to the hospital...he came for me again...you...you saved me..."

"Well I do try..." Giving her a small smile he led her back to the other room.

Jane navigated them back over to the bed and sat on it, leaning against the wall behind it. Lisbon carefully did the same and they sat in silence for minutes.

"It happens to me to you know"

He said it so quietly that Lisbon wasn't sure he had actually said it.

"What?"

He turned to look at her. "It happens to me to. I forget."

"You forget...forget what?"

"Everything. Well not everything, just the bad parts."

"The bad parts?"

"Yeah...I Forget about Red John and what he did. What he did to my family, what he turned me into. The mess I am now. I forget it all...everything bad, everything I am ashamed of, it all goes away sometimes"

"Do you like it that way?"

"No. I mean its great when I wake up...I wake up and I'm happy...really happy...it's not fake. But then I remember...and...I don't know what to do. I have to adjust to my life the way it is, all over again...I...sometimes I think it would be easier if I had been home earlier that night...I wouldn't have been able to save them but I wouldn't feel the pain I fell now, I wouldn't feel any pain...Red John...Red John could have killed me that night..." He heard her gasp beside him but ignored it. "Red John could have killed me and maybe then, now I would have been truly happy." Instantly he regretted it when he saw the look on her face.

"Lisbon, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's not that I'm not happy; it's just not true, like it was before. You know, I am happiest when I am at the CBI, with the team, with you, It's...it's nice...it's like a family."

"I like it that you feel that way you know...it's nice to know that." She gave him a sad smile. "It's hard, I get that now, this morning I forgot the good parts and I thought I was still trapped, I thought I would never get back. It's good to know that I'm safe, and I have you to help me. But I can't forget what he did to me, it's....it's just too hard...I don't know what I'm going to do..."

He put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. At first she tensed but then relaxed and let her head rest on his chest.

"You need to know that I'm going to be there for you...it's going to be okay. He can't hurt you anymore; he can't do anything else to harm you. You can forget him, you can have nothing to do with him, when we catch him he is gone...forever."

"I...that might not be true...there is something you need to know. The nurse told me...she told me that...that I could be pregnant. At this stage it's too early to tell, I need to go back and get another test...soon." She waited for him to respond, but he didn't. "Jane, please say something, I need you, I'm scared...terrified...I need to know that you will stay, that you won't run...please...Jane please..." She couldn't hold it together and silently sobbed into his chest.

He didn't say anything but he pulled her closer and wrapped his other arm around her tightening his grip. He held her while she cried giving her a gentle squeeze every now and then. When her sobs subsided her kissed the top of her head but did not let go of the embrace.

"I won't run...I won't leave. I won't...I can't let you do this alone. Do you understand, whatever the outcome, I'll always be there. I'll be at your side that much, that you'll get sick of me." He laughed slightly.

"Thanks Jane, for everything. I'd like to say the same to you, if you ever need anybody, anything, if you ever want to talk, I'll be there."

She felt him nod and he lightly kissed her head before starting to get up.

"If you want to head into work today, we should probably start on breakfast."

"That's a good idea...pancakes?"

"If that what you want."

He flung his arm around her shoulders and guided her out of the room and down the stairs.

****

**I hope you liked this chapter. I know it didn't really progress with the story but the next chapter will. Next time: Lisbon finds the note from her kidnapper that Jane left in her office.**

**Thanks for reading and please review to tell me what you think if you have the time :)**

**Lauren xx**


	10. Chapter 10: Confronting

I am so sorry that I haven't updated in ages! My computer had a virus...and then it miraculously dissappeared...i was so happy ! It took me quite a while to write this chapter as I kept deleting it...by mistake! Thankyouu to everyone that reviewed the last chapter....:)

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mentalist...(though It's on my wishlist!)!  
Hope you enjoy the next chapter!

Previously : He flung his arm around her shoulders and guided her out of the room and down the stairs.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Lisbot sat at the table waiting while Jane took up residence in the kitchen. After some time, Jane finally came out balancing two plates piled high with a huge stack of pancakes....6 at the minimum.

"Wow, thats a lot of pancakes! Are you trying to make me fat?"  
"Special Treat, pancakes always make me feel better. I figured you needed a specially big helping."  
"Well then, Thanks I guess"

They ate their breakfast with a little light conversation, both managing to polish off both of their plates.

"We should probably get ready, out of the door in a half hour?"  
"Sure, I'll just clean these up, you go on ahead, you are welcome to use the shower, I'll use the bathroom down here to wash."  
"Thanks."

Half an hour later when both had washed and dressed they exited the house. Jane made his way to his car. Lisbon stopped.  
"What are you waiting for...what's wrong?"  
"Maybe we should take both cars...I mean wont it look wierd if we turn up together?"  
"It'll just look like I picked you up. Anyway, there is nothing wierd about you staying over with me, not with what you have been through,  
it would probably look weirder if you didn't. Now, we shoudl probably get moving, or we're gonna be late."

Lisbon gave in and got into Jane's car. He noticed her grip onto the sides of the seat.  
"Oh come on Lisbon, my driving can't be that bad...can it ?"He said with a smile on his face.  
"Trust me Jane...it is." She returned the smile.

They arrived at work and Lisbon headed straight for the coffee machine. She headed then into the Bullpen met by the team whilst Jane headed over to the couch.  
"Boss, how you doing this morning...everything Okay last night..."

"Yes. Everything was fine."  
Jane butted in. "Actually...Lisbon here is lying to you because she is embarrassed that se stayed at mine last night. Our Man came back...he knows where she lives and he came to...well I don't know what he was planning but he came back" Lisbon glared at him. "What! The were bound to find out, it's an investigation...they need to know everything."  
Lisbon simply huffed and turned to VanPelt. "You guys got anything new...on the case.?"

"Oh...Yeah. Okay well your car was searched for prints or any other forms of DNA...and I am expecting results any minute so if we just hang on for a sec....got it....results are coming in now. I got a hit...Daryl Keenan, 24 with quite a few priors. Armed robbery on 2 accounts, fraud and a few assult charges pinned on him. This could be our guy."

"Okay, Cho Rigsby, you go check him out. You got an address VanPelt." she gestured to the screen. "so if you guys go check this guy out, VanPelt you stay here and find out everything you can on this guy and await anymore hits on DNA from the car, and Jane...you stay here and just...do what you do. Anybody needs I'll be in my office." She grabbed her coffee from the desk and walked into her office shutting the door behind her.  
After about an hour or two had passed, VanPelt sighed. "Nothing...I got nothing else...all I got is this Daryl guy. Nothing else on him either. Since his last release from prison in March 2007, he's been quiet...nothing to show that he even exists."  
Rigsby and Cho entered the bullpen. Jane barely had time to open his mouth before the door to Lisbon's office flung open.  
"Jane...in here...now." Jane smirked and stood up from his couch stretching as her waled over to her office. "What did you this time Jane." Cho queried.  
"Mehhh...probably just an overeaction. And why do you think that I have to do something bad for Lisbon to want to talk to me...alone....in her office..."  
Cho's facial expression didn't change showing no reaction to the comment. Jane waled away mutting under his breath, "no humour around here"  
He entered the office to find Lisbon at her desk. She gestured at him to sit in the chair opposite. She did this with a stone faced expression on her face.  
"I take it from what you said earlier that you are aware of how an investigation works. Those investigating are required to know everything that is relevant to the investigation no matter how big or small or irrelevant it may seem to those involved. No matter how irrelevant it may seem to people like you Jane"  
"People like me...Lisbon, what's going on? Are you Okay?"  
"He found me again...he came to my house...he knows where I live..."  
"Yes...and nothing happened...you are fine...so what's wrong? We're all trying to catch this guy to make sure nothing happens again..."  
"And concealing evidence Helps does it Jane"  
"Concealing evidence...Lisbon I..." Lisbon Held up the crumpled piece of paper. "Oh My God Lisbon...i...where did you find that?"  
"I should be asking you that?"  
"I...it was in your'e apartment."  
"My apartment...It was in my apartment...he was in there. You knew he had been there and you let me go there too."  
Jane was speechless...he simply stared into her eyes which were slowly filling with tears. Lisbon stood up.  
"I have to go."  
"Wait Lisbon...I..."  
"Don't bother Jane...this was your fault. I...I can't even look at you right now." She grabbed her Jacket and stormed out of the office slamming her door behind her.

I hope you liked the chapter....it took me ages but I'm still not happy about it but I wanted to post something for you guys :) xxx


	11. Chapter 11: Looking

**Hello again people :D First off...sorry for the slight delay in updates...I'm kind of busy at the moment what with stupid exams and all...but Ahhh well...! I want to say a HUGE THANKYOU TO: **

**Jisbon-sessed...(Lynne You are awesome and thanks for your always awesome reviews...the accent is VERY catchy...) **

**funnygirlOoObroadwaybaby...THANKYOU...It's been amazing to talk to over these couple of days...and THANKYOU for your MANY reviews! **

**Simonisthecutestmentalist...(explain all further on xD...but i owe you a THANKYOU!) Teresa Jane...I love you lots and thanks for the lovely reviews :) **

**: Thankyou for your review and don't worry...you won't be left hanging much longer! **

**TheDarksideAlwaysHasCookies: Thankyouu for your lovely review...and yes Keenan...hmm...now where is that from! **

**JackSam: I love your constant reviews..so thankyou! **

**MJ2387: THANKYOUU...waiting no longer :)**

**Okayy so I know that it's probably nothing to get excited about but I am actually really happy that I got like 50 reviews...it's probably nothing...I get excited over a lot less...as some of you will know...! **

**This chapter is decidedly dedicated to one of my newest friend...thankyou for dedicating your last chapter to me...Simonisthecuttestmentalist...THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU...for everything over this past...week :D You are awesome...incredible support...I loveyou loads...and your fics...as I already said...They're awsome :D again...Thankyou...this is for you :D**

**Sorry for my LONG ramble there guys...enjoy the next chapter :D **

**Previously: ****"My apartment...It was in my apartment...he was in there. You knew he had been there and you let me go there too." Jane was speechless...he simply stared into her eyes which were slowly filling with tears. Lisbon stood up. "I have to go."  
"Wait Lisbon...I..."  
"Don't bother Jane...this was your fault. I...I can't even look at you right now." She grabbed her Jacket and stormed out of the office slamming her door behind her.**

Jane was stunned. That wasn't easily done but the whole thing had caught him off guard. Yes, he had known that she would have to know about the note eventually…but he wasn't expecting that to be today. He couldn't even muster up the will to try and lie to her. To tell her that yes he had found the note…but not in her house. That was what this…this argument was really about. The fact that he had actually known about it…known that going back to her own apartment would have lead to potentially more danger…which it did. She knew it. She knew it was his fault. His fault that this man had managed to find her again. He had unwillingly put her in danger…again…like many other times but this time….it could have been fatal…and that was the worst part.

Jane sat…he couldn't even summon the courage to go into the bullpen…where the prying eyes of his colleagues would be….each one of them eager to know what had happened. That was why he wasn't surprised when she door slowly creaked open….he slowly turned around to see VanPelt, whose normally bright eyed smiling face was creased with worry, wonder and a hint of anger. Anger not directed at him necessarily…but he knew it would be…soon. Her anger was directed at the other 2 team member…who had obviously forced this pitiful task onto her.

"I assume….by your expression that you want to know what happened between me and Lisbon." She nodded. "I'm sorry m'dear but that happens to be between her and I."

"You can't not tell us Jane…we all heard her shouting…it's about the case…she said it herself, you have to tell us…Rules. Anything pertinent to the investigation has to be reported…"

He waved his hand at her to stop her from continuing and saw her expression turn to hurt.

"I got in VanPelt…look I'm sorry I can't tell you right now…I have to find her."

"She can look after herself…I'm sorry Jane but you have to tell us…if you withhold any information impertinent to the case…you will be arrested. I'm sorry Jane…I am but if you refuse to tell me or present me with any information that you have…then I will have to arrest you."

Jane was shocked. Lost for words for the second time today. "I…I…fine okay…I will tell you but can we please hurry this up…I need to get out of here and find her because none of this information is relevant if I find her and it's too late."

"We will be as fast as we can. We should probably do this in a room." She ushered Jane into an interrogation room and beckoned to Cho and Rigsby to follow. Jane seated across the table from Rigsby and VanPelt while Cho stood in the corner all three of them eager to know the withheld information.

"Start from the beginning"

"Okay…Lisbon was in the hospital and I went to her place to get her some stuff. I found a note. Her attacker had left it so obviously he knew where she lived. I figured that if we went back there, he would come back and we could get him." He looked at the anger and shock that started to penetrate the team's blank expressions.

"I planned on being there. I planned on staying with her and taking him down when he came. But she chucked me out. There was nothing I could do. That's why I had Rigsby camp out front for security…but he managed to get past."

"Do you have the note?"

"Oh ummm yeahh here…Listen I know you guys are angry but to be brutally honest…I don't care. What I care about now is finding Lisbon. So If you don't mind…I would like to go."

He got up and walked out of the room ignoring the teams efforts to call him back.

It was beautiful day outside….but he seemed to be immune to it. Something was blocking his sunshine…and he knew exactly what it was…his guilty conscience.

He headed to his car and headed for the place he had come to know so well. His moment of realization had come half way through it journey. He pulled the car over to the side of the road. Lisbon isn't stupid….she wouldn't just go home….where she knew she would be in danger. Where would Lisbon go….to get away….somewhere where she knew he wouldn't go.

He felt it…a pang of anger…and he was surprised that it wasn't misguided. His anger was directed purely at Lisbon. She could have no doubt in her mind that he would follow her but to lead him to that place…that was cold. But…no matter how angry he was he could never blame her. He had hurt her…he had concealed information which had lead to a second attack. Something that maybe she could never forgive him for. This is why he had to follow her. This is why he had to go back to that place…why he had to fix what he had done…win back her trust…even if it means facing memories…the most painful memories.

**Okay so I know this is short and for that I am SO SO SO SO SORRY…but I really wanted to end it on that part. **

**Thankyou to everyone for your incredible reviews and everyone for adding me to alerts and favorites… :)**

**I'll try and update again as soon as I can.**

**One more thing: This is for you Lynne (Jisbon-sessed): RedJohn is as gay as tinky-winky…who by the way is still handcuffed to my door handle…evil crazy psycho stalker! Just so everyone knows…I have nothing against Gay people :) it's just an inside joke :D **

**Hope you all enjoy this short (again sorry about that) chapter :D**

**Lauren xxxx**


	12. Chapter 12: Remembering

Thankyou to my AWESOME reviewers..I love you! Jisbon-sessed, funnygirlo0obroadwaybaby, TheDarksideAlwaysHasCookies,JackSam, Anna, Simonisthecitestmentlist (also a thankyou for all the simon baker stuff) and TeresaJane :) Katheryn Silver: for reviewing the first chapter :) THANKYOU GUYS SO SO SO MUCH!

Disclaimer: I don't own the mentalist or any of the poems that I have used in this chapter.

Previously: He felt it...a pang of anger...and he was surprised that it wasnt misguided. His anger was directed purely at Lisbon. She could have no doubt in her mind that he would follow her but to lead him to that place...that was cold. But...no matter how angry he was he could never blame her. He had hurt her...he had concealed information which had lead to a second attack. Something she could never forgive him for. This is why he had to follow her. This is why he had to go back to that place...why he had to fix what he had done...win back her trust...even if it means facing memories...the most painful memories.

He could feel his heart beating painfully fast in his chest...the reason for it was unknown. No entirely unknown...whether it was is anxiety of trying to win back the trust of Lisbon or the knowing feeling that he was going back to the place where he would have to face old horrors and relive his last moments with them before he buried them physically and emotionally. Maybe it was a bit of both...  
He pulled the car into the parking lot and stopped the engine. Looking around he couldn't see her car or Lisbon anywhere. She wasn't in sight but maybe she was out of view. He climbed out of the car and slowly started to walk towards the large dark building. He walked to the front and cautiously sat down in one of the pews. Taking the time to look up at the alter, his eyes caught that place. That place that he had lost control over his emotions in front of so many people. Remembering his exact words from that day. A poem to be exact: "You can shed tears that she has gone, or you can smile because she has lived.  
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back, or you can open you're eyes and see all she's left."

He remembered closing his eyes, wishing this and letting a few tears slip out before opening them again and continuing.

"Your heart can be empty because you can't see her or you can be full of the love that you shared.  
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterdat or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.  
You can remember her and only that she's gone or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.  
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on" He hadn't held back, he had stood there in front of everyone, and let everything out.

Sure he had read this poem, but he hadn't stayed true to it. "Love and go on..." That what it had said. Yet he hadn't done it. He hadn't moved on, not until he had gotten revenge. He regained his composure and made his way out of the church and into the cemetary. He couldnt see her. Either he had been wrong and she had never been here. Or she had already left. Either way she wasn't here and he was. For the first time in over 5 years, he was here...  
He walked over to the far end of the graveyard and knelt down when he reached what was probably the most unkept graves there. This only made him feel much worse. It was like they had been forgotten, to him anyway. he slowly brushed pilled out a hankerchief out of his pocket and wiped away the gravel and the dirt that covered their names and he let his hand linger over them. He sat for a while simply telling them both about his life now...what he was doing, how he was feeling, everyting. He told them about the good times, the bad times, how he felt when he buried them. This was when he pulled out the old, worn and crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. Opening it up, he whispered to his wife. "I know you told me to read this if anything ever happened to you, but I couldn't...it just couldn't, I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it...I"

He was cut off "Jane..." He automatically looked up...before thinking to himself "what am I doing"  
He heard it again... "Jane."  
"Lisbon?"  
"Why are you here Jane." "Why am I here...you want to know why I'm here." His anger came back. "You lead me here...knowing what this place means to me." "What...I...you didn't need to follow me. I haven't got a clue what you mean. I came here to calm down. I know it's wierd...but I came to talk to my mom."  
"You...you what...your mom...she's here."  
"Yes...and you didn't need to follow me here...so you can go...I'm still mad at you."  
"I can't, I have something I need to do." She noticed the crumpled piece of paper in his hand. Her expression turned to one of anger.  
"Is this it, is this the note he left. You kept it!." She grabbed the paper out of his hand and read it, her stony expression slowly turning to one of confusion.

"Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there, I do not sleep...Jane what is this."  
He took it back. "It's mine. It's a poem, my wife...she wanted me to read it at her funeral if I ever got the chance, but I couldn't" his voice cracked and he knelt down once again by the graves. "I just couldn't"

Lisbon knelt down beside him. "Is This why your'e here...to do it now."  
"I was going to...but I can't. It's too hard."  
"Do you...do you want me to do it..." He looked at her and then silently handed her the paper once again. She took hold of his hand before starting;

"Do not stand at my grave and weep;I am not there, I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain.I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush;I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight.  
I am the soft stars that shine at night.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before the handed put the note into the front pocket in his suit Jacket. Her hand lingered there...over his heart. He slowly looked up at her before whispering a quiet "Thankyou" They continued to sit in silence staring at the two gravestones in front of them while the sky began to darken around them.

- Okay...so I know it's short but again, I thought it approprite to end there. I am also kinda unaware of how much I write cause Microsoft word stopped working so I have to use "notepad" again!

:D THANKYOU for readind and I hope you all enjoyed.  
PS: Lynne...RedJohn is still forever gay and Tinky-Winky is not yet gone...


	13. Chapter 13: Shocking

Sorry the chapter has taken me AGES to update. I've been VERY busy and I seem to be writing more one-shots (yet to be published)! I hope you guys are all sticking with me...  
Thanks to those of you who reviewed the last chapter. Teresa Jane, Simonisthecutestmentalist,iluvorangutans and MJ2387...I really appreciate it. Love you guys!  
This chapter is for Funnygirlo0oBroadwaybaby...for bugging me until I got this done...and for my reviewers!

This chapter is kind of a filler...just fluff to be completely honest. xoxoxoxoxo

Previously: They sat in silence for a few minutes before the handed put the note into the front pocket in his suit Jacket. Her hand lingered there...over his heart. He slowly looked up at her before whispering a quiet "Thankyou" They continued to sit in silence staring at the two gravestones in front of them while the sky began to darken around them.

xoxoxoxoxo

"Are you Okay?"

"Lisbon...considering everything. I think your feelings here are more important than mine. I should be asking you that."

"True...but seeing as right now Your sat beside the resting place of your wife and child...I asked the question. So I'll ask again...Are you Okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You're not being truthful with me. I can tell. I'd be worried if you were fine. I learnt a lot from you...working with you. I know you're not fine. I know it's hard. When my mom died...I just know how it feels."

"I know that...I want to be fine. But I haven't been...not sine they died. I put on a show...use my skills as a performer to put on a charade...To pretend that I'm getting over it. The truth is Lisbon...I can't do that. I love them too much...with most of my heart."

Lisbon looked up shocked at his words. "Most of you're heart?"

"I know...i feel bad just saying it...but the truth is...I Love them more than I ever though possible but..." He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. "I love you."

The calm but worried expression on Lisbon's face suddenly changed to a look of panic and she diverted her gaze anywhere but into Jane's eyes. She quickly stood up...brushing the dirt and leaves off her. "I...umm...I should go."

"Lisbon wait...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to panic you...I just...I had to tell you."

"I understand Jane...I just...I should get back to work. I have a lot to do. I'll umm...I'll see you later." She hurried away to her car before her had time to catch up with her.

Jane simply stood and watched her car drive away...cursing to himself under his breath "Damn it...why..." After staring at the spot her car had dissappeared he finally trampled through the dirt back to his car decided to go back to work.

xoxoxoxoxo

Lisbon drove back to work...hoping against hell that she would arrive before Jane. She would go in, greet the team and Lock herself in her office with her mound of paperwork. When she arrived she rushed up the stairs to her floor 2 stairs at a time.

"Boss!"

"VanPelt...look I really don't have time to talk." She glanced at the entrance to the BulPenn. "I have paperwork...lots of it."

"Oh right...well just to let you know. I'm waiting for a hit on the prints that were found on the note that was left in you're umm...at you're place. They should be in within in the next half hour."

"Okay...where are Cho and Rigsby."

"Lunch. Should be back soon. And if we get a hit on the prints I'll send them out to interrogate. We'll get this guy Boss."

"I trust that you will. Thanks grace."

Whisting could be heard from just outside the bulpenn...Jane. "Crap...I gotta go...do paperwork. Do me a favour...don't let Jane in my Office...distract him with something...anything should work."

"Oh umm...sure."

xoxoxoxoxo

"VanPelt...Lisbon in her office?"

"I umm...No...she's not here. In fact I haven't seen her since she left earlier."

"Her car is outside." VanPelt looked at a lost for words.

"Well I...maybe she walked into the town...maybe you should go look for her..."

"Nahh..I'm tired...I think I might just go lay down on the couch...in Lisbon's office."

"Jane...You're couch is right there. Use that one."

"Why...Lisbon's is much comfier and like you said she isn't here so it won't bother her will it! Unless you're lying to me." He raised his eyesbrows.

VanPelt sighed. "You're such an ass Jane. Fine she's in there but don't go in. Strict orders. She doesn't want you in there and she's working."

"Mehh...paperwork can wait..." He strode off towards Lisbon's office.

Lisbon jolted alert and looked up to see Jane striding into her office.

"What...How...I locked the door...I..." She was clearly confused. "What do you want Jane?"

"To talk...I want to explain a few things."

"Not here Jane...we should leave. Coffee?"

"I uhh Yeah...why not."

xoxoxoxoxo

Short again...sorry! :D I'm trying to catch up on my updates to my other Mentalist fics and for anyone who read my Bones one's will be done as soon as possible! Thanks for reading...hoped you enjoyed! xoxo 


	14. Chapter 14: How Painful

After a LONG time...I'm back with another chapter. You probably don't appreciate my rambling so...on with the next chapter!

PS. I've written this chapter differently. I hope it doesn't ruin that chapter. It's from Both Jane and Lisbon's POV.

Disclaimer: Christmas soon. Hopefull then I will own the rights to The Mentalist. :)

Previously: "What do you want Jane?"

"To talk...I want to explain a few things."

"Not here Jane...we should leave. Coffee?"

"I uhh Yeah...why not."

xoxoxoxoxo

The ride to the cafe was short, but silent, painfully silent. It was the kind of silence you feel when a storm is brewing. The kind of silence that you experience in those few minutes before the wind picks up full speed. Before the thunder starts to crash around you. Before the lightening takes hold and destroys that in it's kind of silence. It wasn't comfortable. Thank God it was only a Five minute drive.

You get out of the car, surprised in the first place that she had let you drive. Then again, everyting was wrong at the moment. You head over to her side of the car where she is slowly climbing out herself. You put you're hand on her arm, to help in someway and she send you this look. This look that explains itself. Don't even try, it says. It may be self explanitory but you can't figure out why you see it. She's angry at you? Or is this Just her trying to regain some of her independance. She's closing you off? You're here now, that's a start.

As you approach the entrance, you hop in front of her, with a cocky smile, hoping to cheer her up. It doesn't appear to. So you carry on, and you open the door for her gesturing for her to go on in.

She stops, you think she's going to reject you're simple offer of being a gentleman but she simply glares at you, and storms on in. you shake you're head, trying to hide you're pain.

What the hell has happened?

xoxoxoxoxo

It was painful, so painful, to sit there in that silence. To sit there watching him, the pain evident on his face. Such an uncomfortable silence.

Thank god it wasn't long.

You sigh as he pulls the car up to the curb just outside of the cafe, as he slowly opens his door and gets out. After a minute, you do the same. And then he is there. His hand is on you;re arm, such a simple caring gesture, but it's too much. You know you're not good for him, you know you can't let him get any closer to you. You glare at him, and he knows so well what it means. He knows what it means but you see the confusion evident on his face anyway. He is trying to figure out why? Why are you acting this way. He doesn't question it, instead he drops his arm and lets you get out of the car, alone.

Walking towards the entrance, you nearly stumble as he jumps in front of you, a huge grin on his face. You fight so hard not to smile, and it works. You simply stare at him. He was trying to cheer you up, seeing a failure he carries on and jumps to the door opening it for you. A perfect gentleman, that's what he was being. But again, it was all to much, you don't want to react, so instead you stop walking. You stop and you glare at him, his smile fades slightly but he doesn't let up, eventually you give up and walk in.

As he walks in behind you you glance back at him. There by the door, he shakes his head and simply smiles, it was obvious he was trying to hide the pain.

You know what he is thinking. He is the mind reader but in this very moment you know. He's thinking "What have I done? What the hell has happened?"

You are causing him pain and you know it, but to you, for now there isn't another option.

xoxoxoxoxo

You look around you and see she is already seated in the furthest corner of the room. The darkest too. What is she doing? Why is she acting this way.

Instead of making you're way over to her, he go to the counter, you have a better view of her here, with the lights and the mirrors, her face is illuminated in the darkness. You hope she doesn't know this. You order 2 plain coffees and stare at her while you wait.

You see her sit, and wait, she stares around the room. She runs her fingers through her hair and wipes her hands over her face. Then you know she can't see you watching. She brings her face into her hands and stays that way. No way is she resting, she's crying.

xoxoxoxoxo

You can't stand to look at him any longer. You can't stand to see the sadness etched upon his face so you turn around and walk away to the farthest and darkest corner of the room. You hope that he can't see you. It's him, he'll find a way, an angle. You watch him as he contemplates which way to go, grateful when he turns and walks to the counter.

God...you feel terrible. You can't stand to push him away but you know you have too. The pain you are feeling builds up, and keeps on building until you don;t feel you can keep it an any longer. So you bury you're face in you're hands.

You just let go.

xoxoxoxoxo

SO! Short...yes. Sorry... :) I know this chapter was a little different but I wanted to give it a try so please let me know if you liked it. If it's something that ou would like more of. Feedback is ALWAYS apreciated! Thanks! :D

Thanks for reading! 


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